Tags

, , , , ,

Recently, I have done a lot of soul-searching about my life, what I am doing, what I am not doing, where I am going, if I should be going anywhere or just be happy where I am and I haven’t come up with any clear answers. I have asked myself over and over; what do you want to be doing? What makes you happy?

And I am freaked out by the simple fact that I can’t answer those questions. What the hell is wrong with me? I know that I shouldn’t just be happy where I am; if the result is that I am not happy where I am. Right? But what then? Where do I go from here? I am a wife and a mother and I love those roles, but since I have to work I need that area to be fulfilling as well.

I am going to be 40 this year and if I have to work for at least another 20 years, I need to figure out what I want to do with the next 20 years of my life? Right? Sadly, I don’t know where to begin to figure that out. But here are the things I do know:

  • I am a very capable dependable person
  • I love researching and investigating and I am really good at both
  • I am a take charge kind of person and I get things done – FAST!!
  • I am enthusiastic about life and have a good attitude…..and it shows
  • I have a silly and fun side that can be very entertaining
  • I enjoy staying busy and want to feel needed
  • I get immense satisfaction from helping others and making their day a bit easier or nicer
  • It’s important for me to feel valued
  • I enjoy being creative
  • I love cooking and baking

I am not sure what putting these thoughts out there will do for me, but I feel such a heavy burden lately. I try to sooth the burden with normal everyday life things such as, running, mindless entertainment, crocheting, but it is always there nagging me. I know I have a very fortunate life in many ways. I have a very loving & supportive husband and a healthy & happy son and I love them both. I know that I have it good, but for my personal satisfaction; I feel as though I am missing the mark.

Or perhaps, I have too much time on my hands. LOL!

More about me!

Advertisement